Jump to content

JOIN OUR GAME!

Your Stories Await Telling

No Cursing On Sunday! [26/12, 7:30 am, before church, open]- Xmas 1677


Recommended Posts

Between the Privy Stairs and the location of the old Privy Gallery lay the Volary Garden, the aviary of King Charles II. On the other side it opened to the Kings Apartment, most particularly to the Kings Closet, also known as his Laboratory.

 

Four large statues representing ancient Greek goddesses graced the corners of the garden, which was filled with all matter of cages, filled with fowl. Pheasants, singing birds, peacocks, the most interesting amount of exotic birds, including parrots. Previously it was the site of the Kings Little Garden, which was the retreat of Charles I and forbidden to other nobles. Now however all were invited to share in the joy of the exotic, most especially the Maids of Honour, many of whom had their rooms open up to this private garden.

 

After writing a reply to Lady Alyth's note, Sophia decided to visit the Volary Garden before Church. The last time she had visited was at the Queen's request and they had discovered that the parrots had been taught to curse in French. They had decided to retrain them and by a combination of repetition and singing, she had coaxed the colorful birds to say 'good day,' in German. She hoped to reinforce that lesson today as well as teach them how to say the same thing in Spanish.

 

She was dressed in one of her best gowns, as she planned to go straight from the palace to the chapel. Made of heavy medium blue moire silk, the bodice was modestly cut and the sleeves were long an hemmed with white lace ruffles, slit in places to show her amber velvet chemise, which also served as her underskirt. The skirt of the gown was held back with pink fabric rosettes, which also framed her bodice beneath a ruffle of snow white lace. Rosettes also adorned her sleeves. Around her neck, she wore a gold ribbon from which hung the cameo that Juan had given her.

 

As she strolled through the aviary, she stopped at various cages to admire the birds, including the arrogant peacock that had refused to show his plumage when she had ran into Master Greyson here so long ago. She smiled as she remembered her friend, hoping that he was enjoying himself in Italy.

 

Anna followed a few steps behind her, giving he mitress a semblance of privacy. As Sophia approached parrots' cages, she said 'Guten Tag!” in a singsong voice, hoping that the exotic birds would repeat it back to her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

Sophia continued to repeat the German greeting, hoping that the parrots would recite it back to her. The aviary was rather quiet this early in the morning, and only a few of the songbirds were singing. She wondered if the birds residing here were cold or if their feathers protected them from frigid temperatures much like her cloak protected her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For a second morning in a row, it begun with feathers and frills.

 

Lieutenant Turnbull was striding his way back from... (well some things best unsaid), when avian squawks and twitters prompted him to alter his course. Were 'The Lads'. namely Rochester and Sedley, finally returning their Partridge?

 

But it was a woman in frills perfectly ironed and primped that he found, rather than the crushed and stained specimens he'd seen yesterday. This woman was not napping bleary eyed under a tree, but was brightly talking to the parrots, and in German if the guttural notes were any clue?

 

"Hey-ho my lady!" Ambrose strolled in umongst it all, his voice barely moderated despite his hangover, "trying to teach the birds to speak are you? What a pity the Partridge I happened upon yesterday is not here, though it's penchant was more towards 'excuse my French' rather than German." he blithely winked, "I think the birds prefer it!" he turned to the nearest, and cheerily spoke to it, "Cock and balls, Cock and Balls, can you say Cock and Balls?!"

 

 

 

OOC: I'd missed your open thread previously! Whoop! Perfect for Ambrose

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Intent on getting the parrots to repeat the simple greeting, Sophia didn't see the gentleman enter the garden until he spoke to her. She looked up and smiled at him, nodding when he asked her if she was trying to teach the birds to speak. “I started training them during the summer,” she explained, “and I want to see if they remember what I taught them.”

 

She looked at him a bit strangely when he mentioned a talking partridge. The petite blonde was fairly certain that partridges didn't speak. Was he joking or could he be one of those patients who had escaped from Bedlam? Instinctively she took a step back. Maybe he had mistaken a parrot for a partridge? The parrots had indeed been speaking French when she and the Queen had first encountered them.

 

“It is all right if they speak French, as long as they do not ...” Cock and balls? What was he trying to do, ruin all the progress she had made?

 

“Nein! Nein! Nein!” she shouted, stepping forward and positioning herself between the gentleman and the parrot cage. “Do not teach them to curse! It is what I am trying to undo. They cursed in front of Her Majesty and she was not pleased. Unless you want to be on the receiving end of her anger, I suggest you help me teach them to say nice things instead. I was trying to get them to say 'hello' in German. It is what the Queen and I taught them last season.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It did not ake long for Ambrose to realise she was one of these young naieve girls, the sort that dont know the terms and phrases real life uses. She thought he was talking about French, when he was talking about cursing.

 

Pity. Ambrose liked worldly women, and had little time for uptight sorts.

 

Barreling on, he amused himself by seeing if these birds were as talented as the one of yesterday. He was surprised then by her movement, as she threw herself between himself and the birds, and shouted out to stop. (While he did not speak German, everyone knew the elementaries in many languages). It was like she thought to use her body as a shield. It was almost funny, but definitely bizarre.

 

Halting he looked at her. And blinked.

 

"You are threatening that you will tell on me, to the queen?" he thought to clarify. What a party pooper. "You have set yourself a challenging task, I shall not distract you from it." Privately he felt pleased to learn from her that however many others had been teaching the birds cuss words too, he felt a part of some secret fraternity.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Did the parrot actually respond to the gentleman's cursing? It was hard to tell, but it certainly had not said 'guten tag.' Sophia turned around and gave it a withering glare before focusing once more on Ambrose. Feeling a bit conspicuous, she moved away from the cage so that she was standing beside him.

 

“No, I will not tell the Queen. You are obviously not the first person to teach them how to curse.” She sighed and smiled wryly. “I think the Frenchman who visited last spring started it, probably as an insult to England and the King. Would it not be better to reverse the damage they have done and teach the parrots to greet visitors pleasantly, and maybe even compliment them?

 

“Teaching them to be polite can still be fun, and it will please Their Majesties.” Her ice-blue eyes implored him to agree with her and she favored him with a mischievous grin. “We can teach them humorous phrases as well, just nothing too offensive, if you would like to help me train them.”

 

True to her eternally optimistic nature, the young Baroness was trying to win him over.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As far as Ambrose was concerned the bird had said 'cock'. He gave a satisfied nod of head, then looked back at the pretty girl that lectured.

 

"Well I suppose you could do that, though it sounds bloody unmemorable if you ask me. Why not make visitors laugh with aghast, or squeal in dismay. Now that's a merry welcome to court if you ask me. If visitors want formal welcomes and prissy good manners, they can get it in any of the courts of Europe."

 

She seemed to think that the king and the queen wanted polite parrots.

 

"I shall help you train these parrots then, and we shall put your theory to the test. I shall train one parrot, and you can train another. Then next season (for it might take a few months to train our parrots well) we shall have a parrot-off. Gather our friends, and let our birds put on their shows - the winner shall be obvious by the loudness of the audience's cheers."

 

"That shall settle the question you put before us today, of whether parrots of prim, or ones bawdy best delight England?" Ambrose felt like wise King Solomon with his clever way of answering this particular quandary.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Why are only naughty things memorable? You can still be polite and make people laugh. Cursing will shock them and give them the wrong impression of the English court. I suggest a middle ground where visitors will be amused and entertained but not feel disgusted or offended, something that will please the proper courtiers as well as the libertines.”

 

He still wasn't listening to her, but he offered a challenge that she could not refuse. With her theatrical finesse, Sophia was sure that she could teach a parrot to put on an entertaining performance that would outdo any random cussing. She didn't like to think of a parrot being taught to curse, but if this handsome but foul-mouthed gentleman lost the competition, she would be proven right and she could retrain his parrot to be nice.

 

“It is a deal,” she said. “But we must set some rules first. We must train the parrots ourselves and cannot get our friends to help out. And we must stay away from each other's parrots. I will not train yours to be polite and you will not train mine to curse. The competition should be fair, with no cheating on either side.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Aha, you've done this sort of thing before!" Ambrose smiled broadly and laughed, "Why those would have been fantastic pranks to pull! Very well then, no fowl play." he winked, "pun intended."

 

It was a pity really that she ruled the ideas out as soon as she had them, though linear minded Ambrose was not likely to have been so creative.

 

"So we shall need leave them here in the royal aviary, I live at the barracks, and so if I were to take it home, then... well may I simply say that my fellows love to become involved in such sporting games."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sophia laughed. “No fowl play,” she repeated. He wasn't as obnoxious as she had first thought. She had expected him to say that the only rules were that there were no rules, but he agreed to her conditions and added one of his own.

 

“I do not think the King would allow us to take them with us anyway.” If she came home toting a cage full of cussing parrot, Esteban would not be pleased with either the new addition to her menagerie or the competition itself, especially if he knew that the other participant was a handsome soldier. Perhaps his occupation explained why he found cursing entertaining. Soldiers were as known for cussing as sailors. On a battlefield, she would probably curse too.

 

“We must also train them on different days and for the same length of time. I probably have more free time than you do and would be able to come here more often. But would not be fair.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Fair is what it's all about." Ambrose replied in an echo-like way.

 

He was not really bothered about the rules so much as he was confidant that people would delight over a swearing bird whatever it said.

 

"I shall leave the final arrangements for the competition event in your hands, ah, Lady..." in all the excitement he only just now realised he was yet to learn her name. "I am Lieutenant Turnbull of the 2nd, at your service Marm." and he bowed, just in time to make his departure. Better lat than never.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Somehow, Sophia didn't think he cared whether the competition was fair or not. Would he cheat or was he so certain he would win that he didn't care if she did? Perhaps she would, as he seemed unconcerned by setting down rules. It would be no trouble for her to come here early every morning, before most courtiers were awake. The parrots would be more attentive to her instructions if there were no distractions.

 

She blushed when she realized that she had failed to give him her name. “Lady Sophia de la Cerda, the Baroness of Toledo.” She didn't mention that she was the wife of the Spanish Ambassador, although she wasn't sure why. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Lieutenant Turnbull.” Playfully, she held up her hand to be kissed. Would he perform that small courtesy, considering that they were rivals now? Opponents in a contest could still be friends.

 

“Before you go, we should choose our parrots, so that we don't end up training the same one.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So there was the truth of it. Sophia accused him of being the cheating type, because she infact was thus inclined. Yet for all Ambrose offensive bluster and blunt ways, he was so naive.

 

"Well met, Lady Toledo." With one hand crooked behind his back, he bent and kissed the back of her hand. "I shall like a colourful one, easy to recognise. As they say in Jamaica 'Every mickle mek a muckle'" he spoke loudly enough, and pointed at one with red on it's feathers.

 

If he was a jaded courtier, he might have been more cautious, he might have suspected that she'd then misuse knowledge of his bird to some ill effect -- had he just issued a death notice for that colourful bird?! Oblivious to the lengths people were prepared to go, he merely smiled to the pretty youth.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sophia had not accused Ambrose of cheating even in her thoughts; she had simply pondered why he was unconcerned about setting down rules. It could have been because he planned to cheat or that he was so confident he would win, he didn't think he had to. Sophia was thinking of cheating herself because of his disregard for rules, but she wasn't sure if she would. She would feel guilty if she won by deception.

 

However, he didn't seem to care how often they trained their parrots, which would mean that coming here every morning would not be technically cheating. She had given him the chance to set how many days they trained or for how long, but he had said that he would leave it up to her. To the petite Baroness, that meant that it didn't matter to him how often or when they trained their parrots.

 

Her opponent was quite gallant, despite his fowl mouth, and her hand tingled pleasantly when he kissed it. She didn't understand what 'every mickle mek a muckle' meant and she didn't ask just in case he was swearing again.

 

He picked out a colorful bird and Sophia went to the cage that was farthest away and looked inside. One of the parrots cocked its yellow head and looked at her. There seemed to be intelligence in its eyes. Except for its head, it was mostly green, but had some red and yellow on its wings and tail feathers. “I will take this one with the yellow head.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There was a brief pause. He'd wondered if his 'drop' of Jamaican phrase would interest her, but apparently not.

 

"Excellent, and what day's are mine for training?" he asked, believing that they were working within the parameters she'd dictated, unaware that she took offense that he did not add more rules to her list.

 

He was not doing at all well here at Whitehall, every which way he upset people.

 

"If you need any assistance arranging the party I shall be available, send a messenger to Knightsbridge. Though naturally my lack of venue, and even my sex does not recommend me to it's organisation, I might fetch this and that if needed." he'd told her that he'd leave the arranging of the party up to her because he lived in a barracks, and that would not really work, further, he did not exactly have any friends to invite. But that was months away yet, the court calendar usually commenced with a season in spring.

 

"Perhaps I shall see you at Church." he bowed again with intents to carry on, the clicking of his heels as he did so was a habit he was not even aware of.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Contrary to his opinion, Sophia had taken no offense at anything he had said and done other than initially trying to teach one of the parrots to curse. Her hand didn't tingle when every man kissed it, only those she found attractive or felt some kind of connection to. She did think he was quite handsome and hoped that they would become friends.

 

And it seemed that he did take the rules of their competition seriously. If anyone cheated, it would most likely be her. “You can choose the days, since they will have to fit around your duties. I have no such restrictions.” She said nothing about training them for a certain amount of time, but if he wanted to set that in stone too, she would (probably) abide by it.

 

“The party is still months away, but I will be happy to plan it. Perhaps we should meet at the beginning of next season to decide on the day.”

 

He seemed quite eager to be on his way. “I will be there,” she said about Church. “I am sure we will see each other at other events as well.”

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Monday, Wednesday and Friday for myself then, and for yourself the remaining," it was not slices of roast beef, and so it was only gentlemanly therefore to allow the lady the greater quantity. He'd chosen a set of days that would be easy to remember, and his work duties were not so arduous to prevent half an hour here and there. How long was a parrots attention span?

 

“That sounds splendid, Lady Toledo." Perhaps she noticed his politeness now, or perhaps his earlier cussing negated his current effort. It was true he was ready to be on his way, having offended her he did not wish to prolong the necessity of her tolerating him.

 

And so with final pleasantries made, he headed off to change out of his uniform into Sunday best.

 

 

 

OOC: and there exits Ambrose, cue anyone else who might happen along!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

“Very well,” Sophia agreed. Since Sunday was hers, she could stay behind now and begin training her pretty yellow-headed parrot until it was time to go to the chapel. It was still quite some time before Church. But what would she teach it? German was no longer an option. She had to teach it witty phrases in English that would entertain but not shock their audience. Maybe she could teach it some Shakespeare? A parrot reciting passages from the Bard's plays would be amusing. Perhaps she could also train it to sing. It was a bird, after all.

 

Ambrose had never offended Sophia. She thought he was intelligent and creative for coming up with the competition and he had been quite polite to her. In truth, she was disappointed that he felt the need to leave her so soon. She would have liked to learn more about him.

 

But leave he did, and she watched his retreating back for a moment before turning back to the parrot she had chosen.

 

Now what shall I teach him?

 

 

{OOC: Still open!}

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
×
×
  • Create New...