One Day Closer | Thursday at sunrise (CD)

[Sophia de la Cerda]

Apartment of Lord & Lady Toledo

 

Dawn splashed its vivid glory across the sky, illuminating the landscape with gorgeous hues that constantly shifted and changed. Sophia sighed as she sat in a chair one of the servants had pulled over to a parlor window, one small hand resting on her huge belly. Ordinarily the blossoming sunlight delighted her, but lately, she had been in a pensive mood.

 

One day closer to the birth of my child and still nothing has been decided.

 

Yet another nightmare had plagued her last night and she tried without success to push it from her mind. Esteban had visited her after she gave birth and when he saw the baby’s light skin, he had snatched it from her arms and tossed it into the fireplace. Its screams of agony still echoed in her ears.

 

Sophia had seen Henry yesterday at the carnival but he had not attempted to speak to her or slip a note into her hands. He had wanted her to see him, of that she was sure. She knew that he would contact her soon and to give him that opportunity, she had gone to the palace later in the afternoon to practice playing the piano. He had not shown up; nor had he sent a messenger.

 

She had sent a servant to the house to let Esteban know that she was too tired to return to their house in town. It was unlikely that Henry would contact her at that residence. Waiting was pure torture. As the first golden rays of sunlight suffused her small form, she wondered if he had found an olive-skinned woman who was willing to part with her unborn child. She was not thrilled about switching babies, but it seemed like the best way to conceal the fact that her child was Henry’s instead of Juan’s.

 

What would happen to her own child? As if sensing its mother’s worries, it began to gently pummel her from within. Sophia could not help smiling. She loved the little life growing inside her and she wished that she didn’t have to give it up. Of course, she could visit it from time to time. Would she like the family Henry chose to raise it? She wished she could place it with a friend so that she could see it more often, but that seemed unlikely. Still, she could hope.

 

The baby kicked more vigorously and she tried to calm her thoughts. It seemed to be more active when she was worried. There was a slight possibility that the child was Juan’s but he’d had many mistresses over several decades and none of them had fallen pregnant. Perhaps she had always been destined to give him his first child, and he’d had to wait until she was born and grew up before he became a father. Though it seemed impossible, again she could hope.

 

Hope is all I have now.

 

A single tear slid down her cheek. She didn’t even bother to wipe it away. Sometimes she wished that her child could stay inside her forever. At least then it would be safe and she could protect it. Sophia both looked forward to and dreaded the moment it emerged from her womb and the truth of its paternity would be known.

 

She encircled her mound of baby with her arms. The tears flowed freely now. Whatever happens, I love you, she silently told it. I don’t want to give you up but I will do whatever gives you the best chance for happiness. No matter how things turn out, I will always be your mother. You will always come first in my life. I love you, my little one. I love you so much.